Thursday, April 7, 2011

Mothering - ongoing schooling

Mothering ability is what a woman born with, it is a heritable trait in all breeding animals, including us humans, agree?

This is also why I am now reading a book called freeing your child from anxiety*.

I started my journey to motherhood 4 years ago. To say that I am not proud of myself for being a good mother can't be further from the truth. However, what is more truthful is that motherhood has made me extremely humble. Although Julia has said similar things in one of her blogs before, I only realize the profound meaning of this progressively. The real deal is that mothering requires constant learning new tricks yet the funny thing is once you have learned them, your kid(s) moves on to another phase that demands new tricks! Needless to say that the best teachers are your own kids! All we mothers need to do is to observe, to learn, to understand their signs! I do pay a lot of attention to the signals that Zhuzhu has sent out to me. I believe that helps a lot. Believe me, I understand the experienced mothers' wisdom: relax, you will know what to do when the baby comes.

However, Zhuzhu has grown into a girl who can express her needs in words perfectly well now, why she still use cry to signal me her special needs and wants!

It's been more than 6 months now since Zhuzhu was transitioned into her "new" classroom. As far as I remember, she has not passed a day without crying. Every single morning she bargains for not going to school. So, after failed to find satisfactory tricks to stop her crying by searching online for hours, I decided to look for tips from this book to see whether she is experiencing any forms of anxiety. After all, I have learned quite a lot from the parenting bible - what to expect series.

Predictably, the Daddy said that I am being hypochondriac! 

Maybe a year from now I won't even remember how many times I hear this on Monday mornings "Today is a staying home day, mommy. Yea, Monday is not a school day, we have 3 staying home days." Could she stop trying? It's not like she had ever succeeded in this negotiation. I know, I know, this crying business of a little girl will soon pass. I shouldn't need a book to teach me how to deal with that. Even her pediatrician told us so - Mia is a girl, that is what girls do, she said. What? I don't see any other girls do that! Does our beautiful Zhuzhu have separation anxiety disorder? How long a loving mother can sit and wait for her growing out of it? Plus, the father is a frequent traveller, I can't avoid her tears at the drop-off everyday.

I have got to do something about it but I am out of ideas! It's time now to ask for books to help, since clearly, paying attentions to signs fails me this time.

What is your tips to get your kids to school happily?  Come on, don't be shy, I may even give you some of her golden stars if you have better tricks!

* P.S.  I don't remember the book being helpful, as predicted by the fabulous father!

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