Separation anxiety comes in different forms. Little kids have also a stressful life, as much as our adults do, I believe.
Mia/ZhuZhu has always been difficult at drop off for school, especially when she is transitioned to a new classroom. However, this past transition was painless, meaning, no crying involved. In fact, she'd been looking forward to the move into the "Shooting Star" room ever since few of her classmates had done so in the early summer. She wanted to be big girls like them but she and the rest of the gang in her preschooler room had been scheduled few months later. Shooting star classroom is the only preK classroom in her daycare and everyone in preschooler roomthe whole daycare eventually gets in and then graduates from it to "big kids" schools. Either she could move into the same room with everyone she knew together or her teachers prepared her very well this time, we have not had difficulty to drop her in the morning.
Not only she does not cry anymore at drop offs, we could even play "threatening card" for a while. If she happens to cry for whatever reasons before and during the dinner, which is the time she usually releases her frustration of the day, all we need to do is to tell her if she does not stop, she will go back to "the explorer" room.
However, nothing is perfect. She wets herself now. It has happened 4-5 times at school and 2-3 times at home already ever since she changed her classroom. We know that our girl likes to hold her pee to the last minute because she does not like to stop whatever she was doing. One evening when I was taking her down from booster chair after dinner, I found her soaking in her own pee. The worst was that she did not even realize or she chose to ignore the fact. This surprised me enough to link the other events in the school lately. She had her first accident second/or third week at school after she moved up. Well, that must just be the new classroom was so exciting that she was too involved in the new stuff she learned.
"You know, Mama, we have 5 senses, brain to think, eyes to see, nose to smell, hands to touch, and ears to hear." One day, she announced at the dinner table, where the family is usually gathered. "You know, brain is the most important organ of the body, and it does different things with different parts. We use the front part to think and to learn new things, the back part to see, the side part to remember things, hearing things, and speech." She told us again during her dinner. "Wow, did you learn that today at school?" I was totally impressed. She has also brought home the most colorful and beautiful paintings ever since she moved to the shooting star room. And we now often hear her humming new songs almost every single day. "Puff the magic dragon" "This old man, he played one..." She could even finish the whole song with correct lyrics, alright, I admit, I do not know the lyrics of the song, but she sounded correctly to me...
Well, at about a week after the first accident, she had another one. She had to come home with boy's t-shirt and panties, because we had not even had the chance to filled her cubby with new set of extra clothes. We then went to request the teachers to remind her to go potty. The shooting star room teachers are not used to doing so. So, the head teacher was a bit surprised when she got that request from me.
Anyway, that worked only a week or two. Then yesterday at pickup, I found her wet herself again. She became sneaky because the teachers did not even know. Oddly enough, Zhuzhu did not seem to notice either! It was then that I realized that this girl needed a serious talk. I sat her down after dinner, turned the TV off, and asked her to look into my eyes. I stressed how important it was for not holding her pee to the last minute. However, she could not care less and moved her eyes away before I could even finish my first sentence. After that, we went to have a shower. Suddenly, she was screaming. "Mommy, you used soap, that hurts! You knew it. I want Daddy, Daddy does not hurt me. He uses baby shower gel." The Daddy, who has gone to San Diego for a conference yesterday. "Mommy, you are a mean Mommy. I will never ever let you kiss me again." She protested. The effect of her scream was so profound that even woke me up in the middle of the night, twice!
So, I called her doctor first thing in the morning. I wanted her to hear the important life lesson from an authority. I suspected that her urinary track was not infected, but it's better to have her checked just in case. When we arrived at 10:45 am, the check in machine did not allow us to proceed because the appointment time was 2:45 pm! The receptionist however was smarter than the machine and she made few moves and let us in to see another doctor who happened to have a slot at that time. However, since I was so overwhelmed by her peeing without knowing, I made her pee while we wait for her names to be called. When the nurse came to get us, she handed me a cup. Crap. I just made her pee, now what could we do? I asked the nurse and she gave us a bottle of water. Alright, we had to go back to the waiting room. ZhuZhu knew the mommy did not have a whole day, few minutes or so later she agreed to give it another try and she succeeded to squeeze 5 mls out. When we finally met the doctor, he talked to ZhuZhu, attentively. Then he said, "Now I need to check your private part, your mommy is right here, and not to worry, ok?" Our dear daughter screemed a babyzis out of her when I had the same request, but when I came from a handsome young man, she was willingly opened wide for him. Can you imagine how you feel in situations like that? While he was examing her gently, slowly, and carefully, I was making a mental note to make sure next time when she would be suspected urinary infection, ask for femal. "Her private part is not even reddish and her pee is clear and free of bacteria. No sign of urinary track infection. She may have a bit of irratation at the private part." The lucky young doctor said to me. "We'll do the "hygiene talk" with her in a little bit." He read my mind! I thanked him excessively for the life lesson that he was willing to give her. He even demonstrated when he said, "When you sit on the toilet, open your legs wide so that you won't wet yourself." ZhuZhu pratically was staring at him while he was talking, "Drink plenty water; go to pee when you feel just a little bit in need; pat-dry your 'queque' each time after pee pee, because if you don't dry, your queque will be wet and it will get itchy..." "What did the doctor say?" I asked her while we were left alone. She repeated every word of it! The $20 copay and my few hours away from my work was well worth it!
However, right after dinner, I found ZhuZhu's panties again was a bit wet. I had basically never stopped asking her to go to pee ever since she got home from school. Our little girl is still stressed upon classroom transition, except she handles it differently this time.
I am guessing it will be another 4 months to get over this. Talk about stress!
Mia/ZhuZhu has always been difficult at drop off for school, especially when she is transitioned to a new classroom. However, this past transition was painless, meaning, no crying involved. In fact, she'd been looking forward to the move into the "Shooting Star" room ever since few of her classmates had done so in the early summer. She wanted to be big girls like them but she and the rest of the gang in her preschooler room had been scheduled few months later. Shooting star classroom is the only preK classroom in her daycare and everyone in preschooler roomthe whole daycare eventually gets in and then graduates from it to "big kids" schools. Either she could move into the same room with everyone she knew together or her teachers prepared her very well this time, we have not had difficulty to drop her in the morning.
Not only she does not cry anymore at drop offs, we could even play "threatening card" for a while. If she happens to cry for whatever reasons before and during the dinner, which is the time she usually releases her frustration of the day, all we need to do is to tell her if she does not stop, she will go back to "the explorer" room.
However, nothing is perfect. She wets herself now. It has happened 4-5 times at school and 2-3 times at home already ever since she changed her classroom. We know that our girl likes to hold her pee to the last minute because she does not like to stop whatever she was doing. One evening when I was taking her down from booster chair after dinner, I found her soaking in her own pee. The worst was that she did not even realize or she chose to ignore the fact. This surprised me enough to link the other events in the school lately. She had her first accident second/or third week at school after she moved up. Well, that must just be the new classroom was so exciting that she was too involved in the new stuff she learned.
"You know, Mama, we have 5 senses, brain to think, eyes to see, nose to smell, hands to touch, and ears to hear." One day, she announced at the dinner table, where the family is usually gathered. "You know, brain is the most important organ of the body, and it does different things with different parts. We use the front part to think and to learn new things, the back part to see, the side part to remember things, hearing things, and speech." She told us again during her dinner. "Wow, did you learn that today at school?" I was totally impressed. She has also brought home the most colorful and beautiful paintings ever since she moved to the shooting star room. And we now often hear her humming new songs almost every single day. "Puff the magic dragon" "This old man, he played one..." She could even finish the whole song with correct lyrics, alright, I admit, I do not know the lyrics of the song, but she sounded correctly to me...
Well, at about a week after the first accident, she had another one. She had to come home with boy's t-shirt and panties, because we had not even had the chance to filled her cubby with new set of extra clothes. We then went to request the teachers to remind her to go potty. The shooting star room teachers are not used to doing so. So, the head teacher was a bit surprised when she got that request from me.
Anyway, that worked only a week or two. Then yesterday at pickup, I found her wet herself again. She became sneaky because the teachers did not even know. Oddly enough, Zhuzhu did not seem to notice either! It was then that I realized that this girl needed a serious talk. I sat her down after dinner, turned the TV off, and asked her to look into my eyes. I stressed how important it was for not holding her pee to the last minute. However, she could not care less and moved her eyes away before I could even finish my first sentence. After that, we went to have a shower. Suddenly, she was screaming. "Mommy, you used soap, that hurts! You knew it. I want Daddy, Daddy does not hurt me. He uses baby shower gel." The Daddy, who has gone to San Diego for a conference yesterday. "Mommy, you are a mean Mommy. I will never ever let you kiss me again." She protested. The effect of her scream was so profound that even woke me up in the middle of the night, twice!
So, I called her doctor first thing in the morning. I wanted her to hear the important life lesson from an authority. I suspected that her urinary track was not infected, but it's better to have her checked just in case. When we arrived at 10:45 am, the check in machine did not allow us to proceed because the appointment time was 2:45 pm! The receptionist however was smarter than the machine and she made few moves and let us in to see another doctor who happened to have a slot at that time. However, since I was so overwhelmed by her peeing without knowing, I made her pee while we wait for her names to be called. When the nurse came to get us, she handed me a cup. Crap. I just made her pee, now what could we do? I asked the nurse and she gave us a bottle of water. Alright, we had to go back to the waiting room. ZhuZhu knew the mommy did not have a whole day, few minutes or so later she agreed to give it another try and she succeeded to squeeze 5 mls out. When we finally met the doctor, he talked to ZhuZhu, attentively. Then he said, "Now I need to check your private part, your mommy is right here, and not to worry, ok?" Our dear daughter screemed a babyzis out of her when I had the same request, but when I came from a handsome young man, she was willingly opened wide for him. Can you imagine how you feel in situations like that? While he was examing her gently, slowly, and carefully, I was making a mental note to make sure next time when she would be suspected urinary infection, ask for femal. "Her private part is not even reddish and her pee is clear and free of bacteria. No sign of urinary track infection. She may have a bit of irratation at the private part." The lucky young doctor said to me. "We'll do the "hygiene talk" with her in a little bit." He read my mind! I thanked him excessively for the life lesson that he was willing to give her. He even demonstrated when he said, "When you sit on the toilet, open your legs wide so that you won't wet yourself." ZhuZhu pratically was staring at him while he was talking, "Drink plenty water; go to pee when you feel just a little bit in need; pat-dry your 'queque' each time after pee pee, because if you don't dry, your queque will be wet and it will get itchy..." "What did the doctor say?" I asked her while we were left alone. She repeated every word of it! The $20 copay and my few hours away from my work was well worth it!
However, right after dinner, I found ZhuZhu's panties again was a bit wet. I had basically never stopped asking her to go to pee ever since she got home from school. Our little girl is still stressed upon classroom transition, except she handles it differently this time.
I am guessing it will be another 4 months to get over this. Talk about stress!
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